Relationships

I have no idea what compelled me to write on this topic. In fact I have no idea as to what to write about. I do know that I will end up writing a lot of rubbish as one idea leads to another, flowing and melding into something so jaw-dropping you will want to marry me in a heartbeat.

That will be the day. I don’t think I’ve ever come across a girl who has ever instantly “wanted” me in the most primal sense immediately from the first meeting. Actually there was this girl at some friend’s new years eve party from 07-08, that from the moment I walked in to the house, she started coming onto me, by trying to grind up against me on the faux dance floor. However her boyfriend was lurking around the corner, obviously not a good thing.

I digress.

It will probably be extremely fatal for me at least, if I made girls weak at their knees from the very first enigmatic glance I offer them. Simply because I don’t know what to do with all the convulsing bodies hyperventilating on the road side.

Actually it is more the case that I would be denied the thrill of the chase. Once someone has completely enraptured my attention, surpassing all my lofty benchmarks and then some more, only then do I deem her pursuit worthy.

Or could it be that because said hot girl sees something in me and decides to show a little interest in me. Just enough so that she can clean her tracks if it raises the eyebrows of only the phenomenally observant and leave the most covert of imprints on my daily thoughts.

But yet, when it all comes down to it, I don’t think it’s possible to say one or the other initiated it. It’s more like the chicken and egg analogy (not in Christian context of course). Which one came first? Which one spurred the other on?

It really is some crazy vicarious cycle with no real beginning, other than it just happened.

And that is the simple beauty of it all.

Why does everybody taint it by attempting to establish some sort of causal relationships between anything?

Maybe that’s why I’m still single. I’m completely oblivious (by choice) to all these unnecessary chitter chatter.

Actually that’s wrong. I know I’m single because God said so, and it helps that I haven’t come across anyone yet for me to challenge God on that. It’s really interesting though, that all my conversations with God about relationships has been in my car drive. One I had with God just an hour ago went something like this:

Me: So God…

God: Not yet, and you know it.

Me: But why?

God: I’m preparing her for you.

Me: That means you’re preparing me for her too right?

God: Yeah

And for brevity sake, it pretty much continued with me realising that I have to maintain and strengthen my relationship with God. Because if I can’t do that, I’m not going to be able to do very well with a girlfriend.

Being single since that faithful day I was delivered from my mother’s womb does often leave me wondering what it’s like to be in a relationship. Sometimes I look at couples, and I think to myself, “gee, that’s quaint, I want to enjoy that intimacy”. The stages relationships are develop of which most girls by now would be quite familiar with, is quite foreign to me. And I end up developing all sorts of close relationships with girls, that I know damn well better stay on the ‘friend ladder’.

I sometimes do hypothesise what it would be like if my teriffic friendship extended beyond that, only to be promptly quashed because I cannot fathom the possibility of compatibility. There may be a few points that I find highly attractive, and I love you for it, but that’s about it. I do not in any way want to mar the beauty called friendship.

It is rare for me though to even establish such a transparent relationship with any girl, or any one for that matter. Namely because I much prefer keeping to myself. But for those who have been fortunate enough for me to open up to, thank you.

I am scared though, that if I do find someone eventually, the longer it takes, the less ability I am going to have to share something unique with her that she deserves.

But that’s what relationships is. It’s all relative to one another, and that means when I do find her, she will get all the best that I can offer above and beyond that which I have shared with others, and then some.

Filed under: Cogitations, God, Jocose, Life, Relationships

To Be

Updated.

Really honest to God, I was going to update it this morning.

But I’m getting really tired now, especially after being surrounded by women swooning over Edward Cullen in Twilight.

It was an okay movie, not bad, not good.

I did like the fathers though, the chief something and Carlisle I think?

Best scene in the entire movie was when Isabella took the step to console her father after the friend died. I was moved.

I suppose I can see why every girl wants to be Isabella, especially when they want their partners to be Edward Cullen.

Realistically, if you want guys like us to be Edward Cullen, my experience tells me that the creep alert gets slapped onto you immediately without any hesitation.

Oh my dear wife, who are you to be, and who am I for you to be?

Filed under: Jocose, Life, Relationships

Bah!

Humbug!

Filed under: Life, Procastination, Relationships

My Nephews and Niece

OMG!

They are totally cute beyond cute.

The only kids that I know who would be any cuter then them will be my own

Now excuse my cluckiness.

I do want twelve kids just by the way.

For those who don’t know, I do have a step family, and these kids are my two step-sisters.

Nephew1 : Reuben

Niece1: Sophie

Nephew2: Odin

Excuse the quality, I was only using the iSight camera built into my blackbook

but it more than suffices at capturing how cute they are!

Goodness me, give me a wife already!

aside: I wanted to use Vimeo to host my video simply because it matches the colour scheme of my blog, but wordpress wouldn’t let me embed it within the post hence a late posting of this when it was meant to come out on friday, thus relegating me to use youtube… HAHA, but the exact same video on vimeo is here, only if you can be bothered to see how it actually matches the colours

EDIT: FOUND OUT HOW TO ADD VIMEO VIDEO AWESOME, not like anyone would read and notice this but it satisfies me

Filed under: Family, Life, Relationships

A date

Is purely and simply a date.

For me, the concept of “a date”, sounds like something that was taken up into common use due to its efficiency of words.

I imagine in the olden days as we pen our appointments into our diary. It became quite common to say when I agree to meet another person “It’s a date”.

Eventually this concept flowed on to what almost now seems to me at least at my current standing, reserved for when two parties meet with the explicit (although more than often ambiguous) intention of getting to know the person to enter into a formal exclusive relationship. Or is the date only reserved for those already in said formal exclusive relationships?

Just as funny aside, was having dinner on the same table as our Snr Pastor and his wife on Sunday after church, and (not in her words exactly) suggested that I flirt to convert.

Call me ignorant.

Call me naive.

But I believe everything is kept in perspective if a date is understood as an agreement between two parties to meet.

Regardless of intent.

Regardless of the emotional minefield.

To qualify and differentiate a “date” as separate from “hanging out” merely complicates the issue, creating another avenue for both parties to navigate through the maze of relationship development.

What brought this topic up?

Here.

Jess and Angel, I do appreciate your collaboration.

But maybe it’s not the time for me.

The more I read about relationships, the more unreal it’s starting to sound to me.

Please do not precipitate any acerbic tones from what I’m about to write.

We all want ideals.

And one of the ideals on the highest pedestal is our desire for clarity in all areas.

No ambiguity.

All intentions made known.

ESPECIALLY when it comes to issues pertaining to our relationships and interactions with other people and the opposite sex.

But the more I read and the more I think, the more grossed out I become with that idea.

Yes I do recognise, that innately for myself I do want and appreciate when everything is set out clearly.

But I think there are deep control issues at work here.

I’ll put this idea up for contention.

If we’re not comfortable rendering our grasp of control in “worldly” relationships that we can see, how are we going to surrender our all to a God who we believe by faith?

I am in no way encouraging poor stewardship of your life.

What I’m suggesting is that should we not just offer each and every of our own personal issues and interactions to God for Him to take control instead of handing the reigns over to the relationship rollercoaster of randomness. And then subsequently, slapping God onto the billboard advertising this rollercoaster in our emotional amusement park, proclaiming post-hoc that He was in control of it from the beginning.

Isn’t it through the reciprocal giving and sacrifice that each person makes to each other eventuates the deepening of the relationship. With maybe the blessed one following through all the way to the complete merge of one?

Take away the spirituality of this for a moment. Social psychology has shown repeatedly that humans are attracted to people similar to us. It’s most evident in your circle of friends, what brings it together is not the uniqueness of the individuals that I recognise do generate the necessary variety to keep things fresh, but it is what is common and shared between each other. Acquaintances that have little in common, remain just that at most, acquaintances. Similarly, more often than not you would not find yourself, ripping your hair out questioning the motif of the simple “would you have a drink with me” if there wasn’t something already there to attract you.

Just as an interesting dinner story that I got out of my psych degree. A study was conducted where one group of participants were given a choice of two posters, and were given about 10 minutes to consider the pros and cons of which poster they rather have. Another group were pretty much told “here, take one”, without the benefit of the time to think granted to the first group. These participants were called 5 weeks later to see if they were satisfied with their choice, it was found that pretty much a significant majority of the first group were unsatisfied and wanted to change, compared to the second group who were mostly satisfied with their choice.

Now apply that to how you approach relationships, and how “thoughtfully” considered most are before they are entered. I’ll save that story (study) for another day.

Nonetheless,

I could be very wrong.

I have no well of experience to draw from.

So help me God, bypass the dates and give me a wife

Filed under: God, Life, Relationships